Worth Repeating: Arabelle Raphael's Guide to Treating an Escort with Respect

Arabelle Raphael’s essay How To Treat an Escort isn’t about sex. It’s about dignity. It’s about the quiet, daily acts of humanity that get erased when society reduces people to their job titles. She doesn’t write to shock. She writes to remind us that behind every escort london vip is someone who wakes up, gets dressed, and shows up - not because they want to be seen as a fantasy, but because they need to survive.

Raphael’s piece came out in 2023, but it landed like a stone in still water. People kept sharing it. Not because it was trendy, but because it was true. She talks about clients who leave tips without saying a word. Clients who ask how their day was. Clients who remember their name. Those moments aren’t transactions. They’re tiny acts of recognition - and in a world that often treats escort girl uk as invisible, recognition is everything.

It’s Not About the Service, It’s About the Person

Most people think of escorts as providers of a service. But services don’t have histories. They don’t have siblings they worry about, or rent due next week, or parents who don’t understand their choices. An escort isn’t a role you play for an hour. It’s a job - one that requires emotional labor, physical boundaries, and constant risk assessment.

Raphael describes a client who brought her a book he thought she’d like. Not because he wanted to impress her. But because he’d read it and thought of her. That’s not a typical client behavior. It’s human behavior. And it’s the kind of thing that sticks with someone long after the door closes.

When you treat an escort like a person, you’re not being noble. You’re being normal. And that’s exactly what’s rare.

The Myth of the ‘High-End’ Escort

The term ‘vip london escort’ gets thrown around like a status symbol. It suggests exclusivity, luxury, maybe even prestige. But what does it actually mean? Higher rates? More polished looks? A cleaner apartment?

Raphael points out that the label doesn’t change the work. A woman charging £800 an hour still has to manage her safety, still has to reset emotionally after a rough session, still has to explain to her landlord why she’s home at 3 a.m. The money might change her living situation, but it doesn’t change her humanity.

What separates one escort from another isn’t the price tag. It’s how clients treat them. The ones who bring snacks instead of demanding drinks. The ones who don’t take photos. The ones who leave the room as they found it - clean, quiet, respectful.

Those aren’t perks. They’re basic courtesies.

What Respect Actually Looks Like

Raphael lists simple rules that should be obvious - but aren’t:

• Don’t ask personal questions unless they volunteer information.
• Don’t assume they’re available outside work hours.
• Don’t try to ‘save’ them or fix their life.
• Don’t comment on their body unless they’ve invited it - and even then, tread carefully.
• Pay on time. Always.

These aren’t suggestions. They’re boundaries. And they’re not just about politeness - they’re about power. When you’re being paid for your time and presence, you’re already in a vulnerable position. The least a client can do is not make it worse.

She tells the story of a client who always left a handwritten note on the nightstand. Not flirty. Not romantic. Just: ‘Thanks. You made my night better.’ That note? She kept it for years.

Why This Matters Beyond the Job

This isn’t just about escorts. It’s about how we treat people who do work society doesn’t want to see. Cleaners. Caregivers. Delivery drivers. People who show up when no one else will - and get paid in silence.

Raphael’s essay works because it flips the script. Instead of asking, ‘Why do they do this job?’ she asks, ‘Why don’t we treat them better?’

The answer isn’t complicated. We don’t see them as full people. We turn them into symbols. Symbols of desire. Symbols of sin. Symbols of escape. But symbols don’t feel cold. Symbols don’t get tired. Symbols don’t cry after a bad day.

When you treat an escort like a person, you’re not just being kind. You’re refusing to participate in the dehumanization.

What Happens When You Get It Right

Raphael shares a moment from a client who came in after a family funeral. He didn’t say much. Sat quietly. Held her hand for a few minutes before leaving. He didn’t ask for anything. Just sat. And when he left, he left a £200 tip - and a single red rose on the table.

She didn’t post about it. Didn’t tell her friends. But she kept the rose in a jar on her windowsill for three weeks.

That’s the thing no one talks about: the quiet impact of being seen. Not as a fantasy. Not as a transaction. But as someone who matters.

That’s the difference between a client and a human being.

Final Thought: You Don’t Need to Be Perfect

Raphael doesn’t expect everyone to be flawless. She knows people are messy. She knows loneliness drives people to seek connection in strange places. She’s not writing to shame.

She’s writing to say: You can do better. And you don’t need to spend more money to do it.

Just remember: the person in front of you isn’t there because they want to be your fantasy. They’re there because they need to pay their bills. Treat them like someone who’s doing the same thing you are - trying to get through the day with some dignity left.

That’s all it takes.

And if you’re reading this because you’re curious - maybe you already are.